The Coaching Alternative to Micromanagement: What Leaders Miss
What does your team actually do when you're not watching?
Not the official answer. The real one.
If you're a directive leader, odds are they're waiting for you to tell them what's next. Asking permission before decisions. Avoiding any choice that might earn a correction. Your efficiency has created a dependency nobody admits out loud.
Here's the trap: you think you're being helpful. Setting people up for success. Giving clear direction. But what you're actually doing is training talented humans to stop thinking.
And that costs you everything—innovation, engagement, retention, and your own sanity.
The frustration leaders express constantly isn't new. It's predictable. "I don't have time to think strategically." "My team keeps making the same mistakes." "Nobody takes initiative anymore." What they're missing is that these aren't team problems. They're leadership design problems.
Dr. Greg Giuliano has spent nearly 30 years working with leaders on this exact issue, and his recent book, Coaching for a Change, cuts right to what's actually happening beneath the surface: micromanagement isn't about trust. It's about anxiety. And once you understand that shift, everything changes.
(00:00) Meet the Leadership Archaeologist
Dr. Greg is an executive coach and founder of GA Ultra Leadership, working with senior leaders and teams globally to drive organizational transformation. With a doctorate in psychology and decades of experience, he brings something rare: the ability to see why leaders actually behave the way they do—not just judge them for it.
His three Amazon bestsellers—Coaching for a Change, The Next Normal, and Ultra Leadership—all point to the same truth: organizations don't need better command-and-control. They need leaders brave enough to let go.
What makes Greg's approach different is his willingness to name the real issue. Leaders don't micromanage because they're mean or controlling. They micromanage because their own anxiety won't let them do anything else. That reframing? It's the beginning of actual change.
(04:50) The Drama Triangle That's Playing Out in Your Office Right Now
"Even the person you've labeled the biggest villain in your company is telling themselves a victim story. They act that way because they feel victimized." – Dr. Greg Giuliano
This reframe changes everything about how we approach conflict at work.
Most workplace friction operates on a narrative cycle. Someone does something. We feel wronged. We grab a colleague and vent—casting ourselves as the victim, them as the villain, and our confidant as the hero who validates us.
The problem? That person we labeled the villain is having the exact same conversation with someone else, telling a completely different story where they're the victim.
The cycle perpetuates because neither side is actually wrong—they're both just trapped in their own narrative.
You can't lead from inside the drama triangle. The moment you cast yourself as victim, you've surrendered your agency. You're stuck in pure reaction mode. And that's where most workplace conflict actually originates.
(06:18) The Two-Hour Rule That Actually Works
Step 1: Give yourself permission to feel it
You don't have to pretend frustration doesn't exist. You're human. The anger, the irritation, the sense of injustice—it's all real and valid. Vent. Get it out. Let yourself be upset for a bounded period of time. Maybe that's two hours. Maybe it's until the end of your workday. The key is setting a limit, not denying the emotion.
Step 2: When the timer goes off, shift your focus
Now that you've processed the feeling, the question changes entirely. It's not "How is this unfair?" or "Why would they do this?" Instead: What do I actually control here? Not what they did wrong. Not what's unjust. What's in your circle of control and what's outside it?
Step 3: Make a conscious choice about what to do
Do you need to address this? Do you need to just let it go like a cloud in the sky? Are they even aware their action triggered you, or will addressing it just create more conflict?
Once you've separated from the emotion and reclaimed your agency, you can actually make a choice rather than react. Sometimes the answer is to do something. Sometimes it's nothing. But it's your choice.
(13:33) Why Micromanagement Is Just Anxiety Wearing a Business Suit
– Anxiety masquerading as management – Most leaders micromanage not because they don't trust their team, but because their own brain is generating threat signals that feel like facts. That compulsion to know everything? That's anxiety self-regulating through control.
– The exhausting spiral – When you do the first draft of everything, you end up doing the work of people two levels below you. You have no time to think strategically. Your team stops initiating because they've learned to wait for instructions. Everyone loses.
– Compliance, not commitment – Teams under micromanagement do just enough to avoid criticism. They don't innovate, they don't take risks, they don't feel empowered. You get compliance at the cost of engagement, and you have no idea what your team is actually capable of.
– The villain you create – When you micromanage your team, they go home and tell their own story—one where you're the villain. They describe you as impossible to work with, untrusting, controlling. And suddenly you're someone else's victim narrative.
– The reversion trap – Organizations are reverting to command-and-control during uncertainty. But the workforce today has tasted autonomy. They've felt what empowerment looks like. Pulling that back doesn't create safety—it signals that trust was always conditional.
(20:55) The Command-and-Control Reversion Nobody Wants to Admit Is Happening
The Problem: We Gave Away Control and Now We're Scared
Over the last few years, something shifted. Pandemic forced remote work. Remote work forced conversations about autonomy and outcomes over presence. Leaders started thinking differently about trust and results. We were actually on a better path.
And then uncertainty spiked. Markets got volatile. Boards got nervous. Suddenly there's pressure to command and control. To mandate office returns. To tighten oversight. To micromanage their way back to certainty that isn't actually there.
The Reframe: Your Workforce Already Knows What's Possible
Here's what leaders miss: the workforce today—especially younger talent—has experienced what autonomy feels like. They've felt what empowerment tastes like. They've proven they can deliver results without someone watching their screen time. They've seen that trusting them with flexibility actually worked.
Reverting to command-and-control doesn't create safety. It signals that trust was conditional. That their autonomy was temporary. That leadership lied when it said they were capable.
The Implication: You'll Lose Your Best People
The best people? They don't need the job enough to accept a downgrade in trust. They'll just start looking. Not dramatically. Not with anger. They'll quietly explore options and find somewhere they're treated as capable adults. And you'll be confused about why your high performers are suddenly updating their LinkedIn profiles.
(28:23) Why Coaching Isn't Soft—It's the Actual Fastest Way to Get Things Done
In 10 minutes with a simple coaching framework, a stuck problem becomes clear with options and a defined next step.
Leaders hear "coaching" and their mind goes to soft skills seminars. Endless conversations about feelings. Therapy talk. Conflict resolution that takes weeks. But that's a fundamental misunderstanding of what actual coaching does.
Real coaching is brutally efficient. In Greg's workshops, pairs get a framework—basically a cheat sheet of questions—and 10 minutes. A problem that felt stuck? Suddenly there's clarity. Options are visible. Someone has figured out their own best next step. Not because you told them the answer, but because you asked the right questions.
That speed surprises people. But the real difference isn't the timeline—it's the commitment level. When you tell someone what to do, you get compliance. They'll do it, maybe. When you coach someone to their own answer, they're invested. They figured it out. They care about the outcome because it's theirs. And they're equipped to solve the next similar problem without you.
(32:48) The Culture-of-One Strategy That Spreads
"My organization's culture is still command-and-control. I can't change that alone."
Fair point. You're probably not the CEO. But you are a culture of one with your team. You don't have to shift the entire organization to shift your corner of it.
Create your own team culture. Decide how you show up. Decide how you treat people. Build a team that actually wants to work together. Where people feel seen, trusted, capable.
That team will talk about their experience. Word spreads. Other departments will notice. High performers will be interested. You might not change corporate culture overnight, but you'll build something magnetic enough that people with choices want to be there.
Culture doesn't transform from the top down. It starts where you are. With the people you lead. With the decisions you make today.
So What's Actually in Your Control?
You can't control your organization's reversion to uncertainty-driven management.
You can't control whether your CEO believes in coaching or command-and-control.
You can control what you do next time you're triggered. You can decide whether your default as a leader is to tell or to ask. You can choose to see micromanagement for what it actually is—anxiety management—and decide to do something different.
The real decision isn't whether to listen to this episode. It's whether you're willing to be the kind of leader you'd actually want to work for.
Most people know logically that people respond better to trust than control. The gap isn't knowledge. It's the next action. Intention without practice is just a nice idea. But intention plus consistent practice plus willingness to look uncomfortable while you're changing? That builds a different kind of leader.
Greg breaks down the exact framework, the myths about coaching that hold leaders back, and what it actually looks like when a leader who's been micromanaging finally stops. Plus: the specific coaching questions that unlock thinking in your team and how to tell the difference between a moment that requires coaching versus one that requires management authority.
Connect with Dr. Greg Giuliano:
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/greg-giuliano
Podcast: Ultra Leadership (new video every week)
Website: ultraleadership.com
Books: Coaching for a Change, The Next Normal, Ultra Leadership, The Hero's Journey
Connect with Traci here: https://linktr.ee/HRTraci