Career Growth Starts With You: How to Own Your Development Without Your Manager

Stop waiting for a seat at a table that nobody's setting

When does career growth actually happen?

For most people, they think it happens when their manager finally notices them. When an opportunity lands on their desk. When someone else decides it's time to invest in their potential.

But that's not how it actually works.

Your manager has their own job to do. They're not spending their nights thinking about how to develop you. They're not charting out a five-year plan for your success. They're managing performance, hitting deadlines, dealing with whatever fire's burning that week.

Which means if you're waiting for them to make your career happen, you're waiting for something that probably won't come.

The good news is you don't have to wait.

(00:10) Stop Waiting for Permission to Do More

Your manager is managing people. Projects. Their own stress. They're not sitting around plotting out custom career paths for everyone on their team.

So what happens when you want to move up?

You can wait for them to notice. You can hope they'll tap you on the shoulder with an opportunity. Or you can take it upon yourself.

Think about it differently. When you show up with a plan instead of a problem, the dynamic shifts entirely. You're not asking someone else to solve your career for you. You're asking them to support what you're already building.

What this looks like in practice:

  • You're already taking on stretch assignments

  • You're actively helping colleagues reach their goals

  • You're seeking out exposure to different parts of the business

  • You come to your manager with a specific goal and ask for their support, not their direction

The conversation changes from "Can you develop me?" to "I'm working toward X. Here's what I'm doing. How can you support that?" One asks them to do the work. The other asks them to be part of your strategy.

(00:15) Grow Wide Before You Grow Up

Everyone fixates on climbing the ladder.

The promotion. The new title. The bigger paycheck. That's the obvious move, the one everyone's watching for.

But there's a less visible path that actually matters more.

You need to build your skills horizontally first. New projects. Different teams. Skills you've never used before. This isn't flashy. It doesn't announce itself. But it's the foundation for everything else.

Here's the uncomfortable truth: you can't promote into a role you're not ready for.

You can chase the title all you want. But if you haven't actually developed the capabilities, you'll crash. The job will expose you. And everyone will wonder why you got there in the first place.

Horizontal growth is:

  1. The stretch assignment that makes you nervous

  2. Cross-functional work with departments you don't know

  3. Certifications or courses that fill a gap

  4. Finding someone who's done what you want to do and learning from them

  5. Projects that teach you something entirely new

When you do this work first, the vertical move becomes inevitable. You're not hoping someone notices you. You've already proven it.

(00:22) The Feedback You're Not Getting

Here's something uncomfortable: if you think you're self-aware and multiple people are telling you that you're not, then you're not self-aware.

People show you through their behavior and responses whether you actually understand yourself.

What you need is honest feedback. Not the polished version. Not the nice version. The actual version.

Who can give you that?

  • A sibling (they'll be blunt)

  • A parent or family member

  • A colleague who genuinely cares enough to tell you hard things

Ask them directly: What do I do well? Where are my actual gaps? What pattern do you see in me that I might be missing?

Then here's the hard part: don't defend yourself. Don't explain why they're wrong. Just listen.

When one person tells you something, it's feedback. When three people tell you the same thing independently, that's a pattern. Patterns are what you fix.

(00:26) The Trap of Saying Yes to Everything

You might think the path to growth is taking on as much as possible.

More projects. More hours. More responsibility. You become the person who never says no. You're indispensable, or so you think.

Then something happens. Your energy tanks. You get burned out. You realize you're stretched so thin that you're not actually doing great work at anything.

Here's what nobody talks about: "You add value whether you're involved in something or not."

Your worth doesn't disappear because you set a boundary. You're not less capable because you said no to something that doesn't align with your goals.

Strategic growth means:

  • Saying yes to work that develops you

  • Saying no to work that doesn't (guilt-free)

  • Protecting time for what actually refills you

  • Understanding that sustainable beats burnout every single time

When you protect your energy, you show up better at work. You're more focused. More engaged. More actually productive. The irony is that boundaries don't shrink your impact. They protect it.

(00:30) Speak Up for Yourself

Women still don't negotiate their salaries at the rate they should.

They get an offer. They say thank you. They take it. And over a 40-year career, that one decision costs them hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Not because they weren't worth more. But because they didn't ask.

Here's the thing about your career… nobody is thinking about it as much as you are. Nobody is tracking your wins. Nobody is fighting for you in meetings you're not in. That's your job.

What advocacy actually requires:

  1. Know your market value (actually look it up, don't guess)

  2. Negotiate the things that matter (salary, scope, timeline, resources)

  3. Ask for what you need to develop (stretch assignments, mentorship, different projects)

  4. Be visible about your work (people won't advocate for you if they don't know what you're doing)

You can wait for a leader to notice you and fight for you. Some will. But most won't. Build your career on what you can control, not on luck.

Your Career Doesn't Start When Someone Else Decides It's Time

It starts when you decide to take ownership of it.

The waiting game is comfortable. Familiar. But it keeps you stuck. When you stop waiting for permission and start building your own path, everything changes.

You're the one who chooses what skills to develop. You're the one who speaks up about what you want. You're the one who sets boundaries to stay sustainable. You're the one who builds the career that actually works for your life.

That's not pressure. That's freedom.

Ready to build your own strategy?

Connect with Traci here: https://linktr.ee/HRTraci

Disclaimer: Thoughts, opinions, and statements made on this podcast are not a reflection of the thoughts, opinions, and statements of the Company by whom Traci Chernoff is actively employed.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products or services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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